Wednesday, November 22, 2006

will it or will it not?

November is crawling by really slowly... and I think it will be the same for the next few months, until March 2007. No news; no developments; nothing at all. (Still have 1 more application to submit.) Thankfully there are Christmas and a holiday trip in mid-Jan to keep me occupied and distracted.

2 of my friends (unrelated to each other) encountered little setbacks recently. One submitted a request for a transfer within his organization months ago, and just got the Dinged. The other went for a 3-round interview but was not shortlisted for the position eventually. I'm pretty sure these friends were somewhat hopeful as the events unfold in their respective lives. Yet ultimately, their hopes did not materialize in ways that they had hoped for. And this got me thinking: Would the same outcome happen to my applications and plans?

Although I don't think I am the strongest of the strongest applicants around, my gut feel is that my application is strong enough for some serious consideration. As I have previously mentioned, over the last 12 months, many doors have been opened which helped me to overcome certain weak points - e.g. opportunity for RA, getting strong recommendations, linking up with potential faculty, etc. These doors have not been opened forcefully by my might - for I'm not strong or good enough to open them. Instead, I have always acknowledged that it is by God's hands that these doors opened for me. This acknowledgement of God's presence has been a strong encouragement for me over the last few months as I prepare and submit my application. I know - if the Lord so will - that my family and I will be going somewhere some time next year to do something.

So, as you can see, I'm in a dilemma. On one hand, when I see what happened to my two friends, I am discouraged somewhat. On the other hand, when I see God's leading throughout my journey thus far, I am greatly encouraged. Human vs Divine intervention. Visible vs Invisible. All I can do now is pray, hope and wait.... and what a slow and painful wait this is....

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