A few days ago, I read the devotion that I first read on my wedding day 3 years ago. For a few days before my wedding day, the weather was very wet. So much so that we were a little sick then. During that few days, we kept praying for good weather to come, especially on the wedding day itself.
I still remember that I woke up very early on the wedding day. Around 5am. Or was it 4am? Anyway, the first thing that I did was to look out of the window to check the weather in the midst of darkness. The sky had a dangerous tone of red - a sign of heavy downpour that was to come. My heart sunk a little as I walked away from the window and prepared to do my daily devotion.
The devotion was from Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest. The focus of the devotion for the day was that as we plan, we need to plan alongside with God. Not only for "spiritual" plans but also for practical and day-living stuffs. One of the main point, in bold, was "Don’t plan with a rainy day in mind." When I saw that, my heart was lifted. To me, it was the assurance from the Lord that the day would surely go on well and nice for us. Sure enough, the day went prefectly for my wife and I. Not a drop of rain was seen on that day.
As I revisited this devotion a few days ago, I felt that God is reminding me once again. Firstly, I need to constantly humble myself before Him as I plan, and that He must be part of the plan. Lately, with all the work and preparation, my walk with God wasn't as regular and consistent as I would like it to be. So this is a very timely reminder for me.
Secondly, I need to forget about the "Plan B", the"what-if", the fears. Personally, I feel that I have put in my very best to strengthen myself as an applicant. Doing the research paper, getting out of my comfort zone to make contacts, scoring well for the GMAT, writing drafts after drafts of the SOPs, etc. On one hand, if I fail to get in to any schools, I know that I have done the best that I could so there will be no regrets. On the other hand, I fear that the pain of failure may be harder to bear. And what if I fail? What's next? What's my Plan B?
You cannot hoard things for a rainy day if you are truly trusting Christ. Jesus said, "Let not your heart be troubled . . ." (John 14:1 ). God will not keep your heart from being troubled. It is a command— "Let not. . . ." To do it, continually pick yourself up, even if you fall a hundred and one times a day, until you get into the habit of putting God first and planning with Him in mind.
How appropriate! Thank God for His reminder, teaching and promise. I shall continue to pray and commit this journey into His caring hands with faith and trust. May He help me.