let's talk about the first admit

When I received the unofficial offer email from the PhD Committee Chair, I was happy but, honestly, not as excited as I had imagined.The excitement has been building up during the entire application process as I see God opening door after door for me for this particular school. I was excited when I managed to connect with an alumni from the program. I was very delighted when, through the alumni, I connected with a prof in the program. I was excited when I was asked to have a phone discussion with a more senior prof in the program. So when the offer finally came, the excitement was somewhat relatively muted.

It has been a few days since I received the offer. Finding out more about the place, my wife and I are getting excited about the move. Looking for a church, housing, car, nursery, fun places, hospitals, etc.... Talking about how often she and my daughter should come back and visit the relatives and friends... Things still seem surreal at this point, but we have a fun time thinking and planning for the move.

Yet, over the last few days, my heart has been extremely heavy and burdened. Getting this offer means that I have to leave, at least temporary, the startup that I co-founded over the last 8 years. It is not a good time to leave as there are unresolved issues in the business. Breaking the news to my partners is an extremely high mountain to climb. Discussing the arrangements to be made is going to be mentally and emotionally tough. My hope is that I get to keep, first, the friendships and, second, the partnership with them. If I have to leave the startup completely just to keep the friendship, I would. But I do believe that the research that I will do will contribute to the business in one way or another - and the partnership can still go on with some adjustments to be made.

I'm continuing to commit these burdens to God - whatever will happen with my involvements in the startup, I believe it is for the best for me. It has been wonderful to rely on God all these while - in the application as well as other aspect of my life. I will continue to rely on Him and allow Him to lead and guide me.