Is there a catch?

When things are going tough, when the mountain seems to be too high, when there are obstacles after obstacle, you wonder where God is. You wonder where God is leading you to. You wonder what God is trying to tell you. You feel down, isolated, drained. You wonder, "Is it worth it?"

When the situations become better and easier, when you are ascending the mountain nicely, when you are slowly but surely overcoming obstacles after obstacles, when doors are being opened for you, you thank God. You thank Him for His presence and providence. You thank Him for opening the doors. Yet at the same time, you secretly wonder when will God finally slam the door in your face, bolt it with the strongest lock in the world, and tell you that right from the start, this journey is not meant for you. "But I helped you along so that you can build up your hope. But, dude, it is time to end the party." You secretly secretly wonder, "So what's the catch for all these opened doors?"

We sometimes have this wrong impression of God because we are humans who have the tendency to believe in what we can see, touch and hold. We want to believe in ourselves, relying on our might. We want to believe in our network, who knows so-and-so. We want to believe in our achievements and track records, that these will be impressive enough to get you what you want. It is easy and easier to believe in all these.

In contrast, to believe in God, who is physically invisible, is tough. It takes faith to put everything in the hands of the Sovereign Lord, who we cannot even see, much less touch or hold, physically. In fact, that's faith - believing in what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Being sure and certain. Of our hope and what we do not see.

So as I continue to journey on, I am reminding myself to journey on with faith. Faith in God who promises that all things work together for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Whatever is the outcome, I know that it is part of God's plan for me.

school's recommendation - prepare early

Saw this advice in Georgia State University's Application Instruction document for international applicants:

"We recommend that you begin the application process at least 18 months in advance of your desired semester of entry."

The bold appeared in the doc as well. An excellent piece of advice.

a great meeting today

I met up with a Prof who was the lecturer and tutor of a few modules that I took as an undergrad. On the agenda:
i. to find out more about one of the university that I am interested in (he had his PhD there, but from another school)
ii. to ask him to be my recommender.

I thought the likelihood of him being my recommender was very slim, as I didn't really establish a relationship with him during my studies. Moreover, it had been 5 years since I graduated. So I wasn't confident about him agreeing to help with the recommendation. Nevertheless, I was very excited when he agreed to meet up.

I talked to him for about 45 mins to find out more about a particular school that I am applying to. The Prof shared candidly about the school and its environment. Initially, he was a bit shocked after hearing the schools that I am applying to. He hinted that I better have had done well for my GMAT. After hearing my GMAT score and working experience, he was very encouraging. He gave me the impression that I shouldn't have problem getting in.

Nevertheless, he still advised me to considering applying to some "safety schools". This is because the top schools are quite competitive to get in. There is a possibility that I get in without funding. By having safety schools, I would at least guarantee myself with some financial support. He added that safety schools are not bad schools - there are people who graduated from lower ranked schools and are doing well as researchers. I thought he gave a very good advice: Instead of looking at the brandname, look for schools where there are supportive supervisors who can help you to write good thesis.

Just before leaving his office, I asked him would it be OK if I were to approach him as my recommender. I was just hoping to get a good recommendation from him. He said it was no problem at all and he would like to write me a strong recommendation. What a fantastic surprise! Thank God for opening the door once more.